Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Ashamed but thankful...

Hello Friends and Family!

Oh my it's been a long time since I posted anything.  Life with a little one is busy...doesn't leave a lot of time for blogging:)  A quick update before I get to the good stuff:)  Mason will be 7 months old this month!!!  WHOA!!!  He is doing so many new things...babbling, wanting to crawl, scooting, learning to sit up, eating baby food, rolling in all directions...etc.  He is so much fun and Bryan and I continue to be blessed by this little guy!  We are living in Sulphur Springs now!!!  We love being home...the Lord has definitely confirmed we made the right decision by coming back to our roots:) HA!  Bryan is busy during the week finishing his last semester of Law School!!!  He will graduate December 17th.  Oh one more thing....I ran a 5K!!!!!!  Yes, I am trying to become a runner!! HA!!

Ashamed but thankful...
For those of you who have not heard this story I am going to give you a brief version:)  When I was 32 weeks pregnant with Mason my body did not want to be pregnant anymore and I went into pre-term labor.  This was the start of many complications which ultimately led to my lungs filling up with fluid on both the inside and outside.  Due to the fact that I could not breathe anymore for myself or for Mason, my doctor decided to perform an emergency c-section.  Going into the OR we were not sure if my lungs would hold out or if Mason's lungs were developed enough to breath on his own.  Bryan had a moment alone with the Lord before all of this took place, in which he told me later, he completely surrendered Mason and I over to HIM.  He prayed the Lord would spare our lives but told Him he would praise Him still if he decided to take us home.

When Bryan first told me about this, I knew instantly my faith was not that strong because I don't think I could have prayed that prayer.  This was a defining moment for me because I realized how shallow my trust and faith in the Lord really was.  Since March 13, 2011 the Lord has been "performing surgery" on my heart.  I have a yearning to learn scripture and to understood His word on a deeper level.  I want my actions and my words to reflect Him.  I want people around me to see my love for the Lord. 

I been saved since I was 11 years old and this is the first time in my Christian walk that I have truly surrendered and given the Lord complete control over my life.  I am so ashamed of this and saddened that it took me 18 years to realize how much deeper my relationship with the Lord could be.  I am so thankful I serve a forgiving God who makes me worthy to be in His presence.  I am also thankful that through my husband's faith my own relationship with Jesus has been deepened.

I am so excited about this new place in my journey with the Lord that I want to tell everyone!!!  Thank you for reading this and I pray that it encourages you today!  Below are a few new pics of my little man:)


1 comment:

  1. natalie, thanks for sharing this. it is so awesome to see raw life just confessed. i love it and am so thankful that Jesus brought you through this to make you more like Him. :) love love love!