Ashamed but thankful...

Hello Friends and Family!

Oh my it's been a long time since I posted anything.  Life with a little one is busy...doesn't leave a lot of time for blogging:)  A quick update before I get to the good stuff:)  Mason will be 7 months old this month!!!  WHOA!!!  He is doing so many new things...babbling, wanting to crawl, scooting, learning to sit up, eating baby food, rolling in all directions...etc.  He is so much fun and Bryan and I continue to be blessed by this little guy!  We are living in Sulphur Springs now!!!  We love being home...the Lord has definitely confirmed we made the right decision by coming back to our roots:) HA!  Bryan is busy during the week finishing his last semester of Law School!!!  He will graduate December 17th.  Oh one more thing....I ran a 5K!!!!!!  Yes, I am trying to become a runner!! HA!!

Ashamed but thankful...
For those of you who have not heard this story I am going to give you a brief version:)  When I was 32 weeks pregnant with Mason my body did not want to be pregnant anymore and I went into pre-term labor.  This was the start of many complications which ultimately led to my lungs filling up with fluid on both the inside and outside.  Due to the fact that I could not breathe anymore for myself or for Mason, my doctor decided to perform an emergency c-section.  Going into the OR we were not sure if my lungs would hold out or if Mason's lungs were developed enough to breath on his own.  Bryan had a moment alone with the Lord before all of this took place, in which he told me later, he completely surrendered Mason and I over to HIM.  He prayed the Lord would spare our lives but told Him he would praise Him still if he decided to take us home.

When Bryan first told me about this, I knew instantly my faith was not that strong because I don't think I could have prayed that prayer.  This was a defining moment for me because I realized how shallow my trust and faith in the Lord really was.  Since March 13, 2011 the Lord has been "performing surgery" on my heart.  I have a yearning to learn scripture and to understood His word on a deeper level.  I want my actions and my words to reflect Him.  I want people around me to see my love for the Lord. 

I been saved since I was 11 years old and this is the first time in my Christian walk that I have truly surrendered and given the Lord complete control over my life.  I am so ashamed of this and saddened that it took me 18 years to realize how much deeper my relationship with the Lord could be.  I am so thankful I serve a forgiving God who makes me worthy to be in His presence.  I am also thankful that through my husband's faith my own relationship with Jesus has been deepened.

I am so excited about this new place in my journey with the Lord that I want to tell everyone!!!  Thank you for reading this and I pray that it encourages you today!  Below are a few new pics of my little man:)

Love...Natalie

4 months!

Today my sweet Mason Greggory is 4 months old!  I cannot believe how fast they grow up...  At four months old, Mason weighs 14.2 pounds and is 24.5 inches long.  He can roll over from his tummy to his back, he can grab objects, he can laugh and smile, he can hold his head up much better than a month ago and he is sleeping in his room through the night.  I have a growing boy on my hands!

Our journey with Mason has been the most challenging yet most rewarding journey Bryan and I have ever been on.  Life becomes a balancing act...spending time with the Lord, spending time with Mason, spending time with Bryan, knowing when to worry and when to let it go, trying a new parenting skill only to realize it will never work and trying something else, knowing when to be protective and when to take a step back.  One think I can say for the last 4 months is Mason has brought me closer to the Lord.  His life alone is a testimony to God's mercy and faithfulness.  Bryan and I were talking the other night to our friend Gabe and we said Mason has only been with us for four months but we really can't remember life without him...it's as if he's always been with us.

I love you Mason.  I pray that you will one day accept Jesus as your personal savior and that you will be humble and always walk in truth knowing you are a child of the King.



Month One

Month Two

Month Three

Month Four



Growing...

"When you seek my face, put aside thoughts of everything else. I'm above all and in all..." -Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Lately it seems that the above quote is impossible for me to live out!!!  I have never done well with change!  Actually, it makes me extremely anxious and at times, insecure.  As excited as I am about moving back home, I am also nervous because it is yet another change.   In the past weeks I feel as if I have let my insecurities get the best of me.  My worries and thoughts about this change have been so selfish and petty at times.  However, the Lord is always faithful to remind me what is really important.

On Monday evening Bryan's Grandmother, Mrs.Pat White, lost her battle with cancer and went to be with the Lord.  Bryan and I have both lost our Grandmothers to this disease in the past six months.  As Bryan and I were driving to Mt. Vernon Monday evening we both prayed that through Memaw's death the Lord would be glorified and lives would be changed.  I cannot tell you how neat the past couple of days have been...I have grown closer and feel more connected to Bryan's family in a way that can only come from the Lord. 

As we celebrated Memaw's life on Thursday the message was so simple yet so profound...Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your life.  As I sat there and thought about my life and my walk with the Lord I realized how off task I have been lately.  I have been worrying about the most ridiculous things instead of waiting on the Lord.  He has a plan for me in Sulphur Springs...He has a plan to use me to further His kingdom and bring glory and honor to Him.  How easy it is to forget this and miss out on HIS plan because of my own selfish desires and insecurities.

I am so thankful for Bryan's MeMaw...she was a beautiful lady who had a gentle spirit and kind heart.  I am so thankful for her life and that the Lord used her as a testimony to HIS love even in her death.  What a joy it is to know that Bryan's Memaw and my Mimi are together with Jesus and completely healed and that we will both see them again!

A few favorites...

I got this idea from another blog that I follow so I am going to try it!!!  Below are a few of my random favorite things!!!!

1. I love this jewelry designer! Bryan bought me these  for Mother's Day!

2. This place has the best cookies ever! Cherry Chocolate Chip is the best!!! You can tast the butter:)

3. As long as we're on food this lady makes the most fabulous cakes!!! We use her all the time for celebrations...she made my wedding cake and my sisters!

4. I am really loving this skin care line!  I only use one of the day and night creams...it's a little pricey but I can so tell a difference in the texture of my skin...I get into good creams for your face!

5. I love love love this devotional book! 

6. This is the best radio station ever! I wish that the DFW area would pick up this station!  This is one good thing about OKC!

7. One of our favorite cities to visit is Boston. One of our favorite things to eat while we are there is a hot lobster roll from this place.

8. I want to be here!  We stayed in this hotel on our honeymoon!

9. I bought Bryan another pair of these boots for his birthday and he loves them!!!

10. I would love for Mason's room in our new house to look like this:)

Okay... I hope all my links work!!! That is all for now...my little man is waking up from his nap!!! 

The Ugliness of Comparison...

Hello Friends!

I know it's been forever since I have posted....we have been back and forth between OKC and Texas and staying very busy!  My little stinker will be 3 months old on Monday!!!!  It seems like yesterday that our daily routine consisted of 3 hour intervals between NICU visits.  Now we have a healthy, growing baby boy at home with us!!!  Thank you Lord for the blessing of Mason!

You're probably wondering why I chose the title for this blog...well, because I have discovered the truth about comparisons...it's ugly.  If you think about it we compare our lives constantly....and for what reason??  To make ourselves feel better or to remind ourselves of the things we want that we don't have.  No matter what the reason comparisons are ugly and bring out the selfishness in us all!

One of my sweet OKC friends told me this week (I was having a really rough day) that one of the downfalls of all parents is comparing our kids to other kids.  My son is only 3 months old and I am already doing this.  As most of you know Mason was 8 weeks early...according to his due date he is only a month old.  I had no idea what a difference there is between a term baby and one born early.  I have friends who had their babies after me and they are already holding their head up, laughing, sleeping through the night,  etc.  Mason is just not there yet...close...but not quite ready.

In the past couple of weeks I have caught my self becoming more and more anxious about what Mason is not doing compared to other babies...what a sin!!  First, I am not being thankful for my sweet, perfect, baby boy! Second, I am not trusting the Lord.  He created Mason and He has a plan for him that is far more perfect than mind. Lastly, I am comparing my baby to someone else's when the Lord created them all differently but all in His image.

I am turning over a new leaf as a Mommy...I'm sure I will be guilty of comparing Mason to someone else again but from now on I am going to pray that the Lord would help me recognize when I am doing this and let it be a way to trust and become more intimate in my walk with HIM.  I am so thankful to serve such a merciful and gracious God and I am so thankful for my 8 week early precious son that the Lord designed specifically for me:)

Love to all...Natalie

The Stars at Night are Big and Bright....

Hello Friends and Family!!!  Whew...it's been a while since I have posted because we have been in Texas for two weeks enjoying being so close to family and friends:)  Bryan had a two week break from school so we took full advantage and came home!!  Below are a few high points from our trip!

One of my best friends had a little girl a month after I had Mason.  They will grow up together in Sulphur Springs and they met for the first time last week.  This is a pic of the future Mr. and Mrs. Mason White...HA!HA!

Mason spent time with his Great Grandfather, Baba!

Mason was dedicated at SSFBC on Mother's Day!!

I celebrated my very first Mother's Day!

Abb graduated from Baylor as a Nurse Practitioner and will be working at Hopkins County Memorial Clinic!  We're so proud of Aunt Abb!

Our mailbox in Sulphur Springs!

The site of our future home in Sulphur Springs!!

Shots, Monitors, and Pants...

Today was a very eventful day!  First, we woke up and got ready for Mason's doctor's appt.  I decided to try something new today and put pants on him!!!!  They were a little big but sooooooo cute.  I think it's so funny to think this was the first time he had pants on... how many of you remember the first time you wore pants?  Below is a picture of our big boy outfit.

We had a doctors appt at 11:30 and this was the first time Mommy had to by herself...quite an ordeal when you have a diaper bag on one shoulder, a monitor bag on one shoulder, and the carseat on your arm.  We got a good report today... Mason weighs 8 pounds and 15 ounces...WOOHOO!!!  I have a growing boy on my hands.  We were unable to lose the monitor.  He must go 30 days without any recorded episodes.  However, Dr. Maschino said we didn't need to wear it during the day only at night or prolonged periods of sleep. Please pray for no episodes between now and May 25th:)  Mason also got three shots today and only cried for a second.  I am so proud of my little guy...he is growing and developing into such a strong baby! We give the Lord all the glory!